Divorce Options

DivorcingDivorce Options in South Africa: Choosing the Right Path

Divorce is one of life’s most difficult experiences. On the grief scale, it is often compared to the death of a loved one. Yet, while the process is painful, you do have some control over how it unfolds. One of the most important decisions you will make is choosing the type of divorce process you want to follow.

The choice you make will not only set the tone for the divorce itself but may also shape your relationship with your former spouse for years to come—especially if you share children.

Unfortunately, movies and television often create the misconception that divorce must be a battle, with spouses turned into enemies and one side “winning.” Friends may urge you to “fight for custody” or “take them to the cleaners,” but divorce does not have to be a war. In fact, holding onto anger can often harm you more than it helps.

The good news? There are different divorce options in South Africa, and some are kinder, faster, and more cost-effective than others.

Contested Divorce Option: The “War” of Divorces

A contested divorce occurs when spouses cannot agree on key issues such as property, maintenance, or childcare. Each spouse appoints their own attorney, and the matter proceeds through the adversarial system toward trial.

  • Each side presents arguments to the court, and a judge decides the outcome.

  • The process is often lengthy, taking months or even years.

  • Legal costs are high, and fees can easily run into hundreds of thousands of rands.

  • In many cases, matters are eventually settled on the courthouse steps after years of stress and expense.

A contested divorce should generally be the last resort, as it is expensive, emotionally draining, and disruptive to families—especially children.

Uncontested Divorce Option: The Peaceful Option

An uncontested divorce is the simplest, quickest, and most cost-effective way to end a marriage. This process works when both spouses can agree on all major issues, including:

  • Division of assets and property

  • Spousal and/or child maintenance

  • Care and contact arrangements for children

With this approach:

  • Only one attorney is needed, reducing costs significantly.

  • A settlement agreement is drafted, signed, and made a court order when the divorce is granted.

  • No trial is necessary, and only the plaintiff is required to appear in court.

Uncontested divorces allow couples to separate quietly and with dignity, reducing hostility and helping families find stability sooner.

Mediated Divorce Option: Finding Common Ground

A mediated divorce is ideal when spouses cannot agree on everything but wish to avoid a long court battle. Instead of litigating, the couple works with a neutral family mediator, who helps guide discussions and identify fair solutions.

Benefits of mediation include:

  • A faster and more affordable process than contested litigation.

  • The opportunity for both spouses to remain actively involved in decision-making.

  • Confidentiality and a safe, neutral space to discuss concerns.

  • The drafting of a tailored settlement agreement that reflects the couple’s unique needs.

When children are involved, the mediator can also draft a comprehensive parenting plan that outlines each parent’s rights and responsibilities. This plan is reviewed by the Family Advocate and submitted to court to ensure it is in the best interests of the child, as required by the Children’s Act.

Mediation works best when both parents commit to putting their children first and making cooperative decisions about their future.

Choosing Wisely

Every divorce is unique, but your choice of process can make all the difference.

If you are facing divorce, it is worth considering which approach will protect your finances, your emotional well-being, and—most importantly—your children.