Choosing an option can be likened to picking up a bow and arrow, aiming and shooting. Once the arrow leaves the bow, it is very hard to change its direction.
If one or both spouses become obsessed with winning the war, they will only end up spending every cent they have to pay for the divorce when this money could have been better spent on the children. Post divorce, if you decide to litigate, it will also be much harder to get into a healthy co-parenting space – please do not cut your nose to spite your children. Mediation is the better option by far to resolve most pre and post divorce issues.
Let’s look at the benefits of divorce mediation compared to divorce litigation:
|LITIGATED DIVORCE||MEDIATED DIVORCE|
|YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY- can run into hundred of thousands of rands only to be settled on the steps of the court.||YOU SAVE MONEY- mediation is charged per session. You could easily settle your divorce for R10 000, depending on how many sessions are needed.|
|CHILDREN IN THE MIDDLE- children are often used as pawns||YOU PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN- the best interest of the children is at the center of all negotiations as prescribed by the Children’s Act 38 of 2005|
|SOMEONE ELSE DECIDES – the outcome is decided by a Judge or Magistrate||YOU ARE IN CONTROL – all the decisions are made by you and your spouse|
|YOUR PERSONAL FINANCIAL INFO IS PUBLIC RECORD||MEDIATION IN CONFIDENTIAL AND PRIVATE|
|COURT OVERSEES EVERY DETAIL||YOU HAVE CHOICES – you can try out different parenting plans to see if they work.You can modify the plans as your children get older and their needs change. You do not have to return to court to do this, you simply meet with your mediator again.|
|MONEY TALKS||FAIRNESS COUNTS|
|TIME CONSUMING||TIME SAVING|
|EMOTIONALLY DRAINING EXPERIENCE||MAINTAIN YOUR DIGNITY|
|CAN TAKE A MINIMUM OF TWO YEARS AND EVEN MORE||TAKES ABOUT 6 SESSIONS – CAN BE FINALIZED IN 2/3 MONTHS|